Most people think of loneliness as a late-in-life experience. But it turns out that young adults – people aged 15-25 – experience more loneliness than any other age group.
If that’s you, you’re not weird, and you’re not deficient. And there are many reasons for your feeling of disconnection:
Transitions
Young adulthood is a time of huge social and familial transitions, like leaving home, graduating from high school or college, moving, new jobs, changes in friendships due to geography, coupling, or work obligations. Many people feel a loss of identity, or that they no longer have a social anchor like a college campus.
Shadow of the pandemic: Lockdown was hard on everyone. But according research done at Harvard University, young adults were hardest hit by loneliness during the pandemic. Friendships and social networks that might have solidified during high school or college were disrupted. It was hard to practice social skills – and that still can have an impact today.
Workplace & Economic Pressure
Young adults who are newly supporting themselves, paying rent and college debt, can feel they don’t have the money to spend on socializing. Because of new work-from-home patterns, there can also be a lack of naturally occurring community in workplaces. And at the end of a workday, you may be so tired you just want to flop down on the couch and watch TV.
The good news is that you can do something about it. Loneliness is like hunger – it’s a sign that you need to take action to care for yourself. Here are a few ideas:
Exercise
Exercising not only boosts your mood, but it’s also an opportunity to be around people with like interests and possibly make friends. Classes, running clubs, and recreational league sports (like the women’s softball league) are all great ways for young adults to build social contact. And you don’t need to spend a ton on gym memberships: Enfield’s Recreation Department offers free or low cost activities; Meetup is a place where you can find hiking or running groups.
Volunteer
When you volunteer for a food pantry, a library or a town committee, you get yourself out and you start to see the same people week after week. Enfield is rich in organizations that rely on volunteers to fulfill their mission, from the public schools’ mentor program to the Enfield Food Shelf to the elder housing of Little Sisters of the Poor. Enfield Safe Harbor for the Homeless needs volunteers, as do Loaves and Fishes and The Network. And there are many ways to volunteer with the town itself!
Third Spaces
Coffee shops, libraries, parks, and gyms all qualify as “third spaces” – places that are not work and not home where people show up to relax and connect. If you become a regular the place may become a community for you – but even if you show up only periodically, light interaction reduces loneliness. You can go and just hang out or strike up a conversation about the book you’re reading, join a pickup basketball game, or check out a bulletin board for more community activities.
Boost Your Existing Relationships
Your high school friends may have moved away, and you may no longer live at home, but these people still care about you and you care about them. Send a friendly text, make a quick phone call to say hi, or send a car. These touchpoints are a good reminder that you are not alone in this life, you have made friends before, and you can again!
Bottom Line
The bottom line is that young adults are facing huge life changes and need to be more intentional about socializing than in their younger years. But you can do it at your own pace, at your own comfort level, while pursuing your own interest. We would love to hear your story of young adult socializing – email us at tquiros@enfield.com and tell us what works for you!
Learn more about young adult loneliness
National Institutes of Health: Understanding Loneliness in Young Adults
PBS: Why young adults are lonelier than ever and what can be done to help
The Dorm: Clinicians Unpack “The Loneliness Epidemic” in Young AdultsCedars-Sinai: Why Loneliness Affects Young People More Often than Older Adults